All the better to hear you with my dears!

I got my assignment done and in good time you will all be pleased to know. I do love William Shakespeare. So much so that I've contemplated naming my unborn children after his characters. If only the boys names weren't so, well, so naffy. Now I know naffy isn't a real word but sometimes no real words fit and then you have to make up new ones to get your point across. It is allowed. I've decreed it.

Seriously though - can you imagine how much a young lad would be teased on the playground with a name like Horatio, Romeo or Mercutio?

That brings me to another topic entirely: Plastic Surgery. I've got ears. Two of them, in fact. They perform their function more than adequately and I really can't complain about their size. Small, dainty- even been called pixie like. Have a look at a Pixie's ears, will you please? Cute, little, often pointy (mine lack that characteristic) and they protrude. Beautiful!

Therein lies my complex.

Up till the age of 9 I was totally unaware of the protrudingness (another one of my own words) of my ears. That all changed when I started at a new school and made a new best friend. My best friend and I were as inseparable as best friends could be. Teachers even used to confuse us because apparently we looked alike enough to be sisters. BF obviously did not like this confusion. On the first day back at school in the third term I went to sit next to her as usual at the desk we shared.

BF: 'I don't want you to sit here'

Me: 'But why?'

BF: 'I don't want to be your friend any more'

Me: 'But why?'

BF: 'Because I don't like your ears!'

True story. And so began my love/hate relationship with my ears. I begged my Mom to let me have the operation to put my ears back. She put the case to my father who declared, 'There is nothing wrong with your ears.' Wallet closed. I did inherit my ears from my Dad so I think he was a little sad that I wanted to undo this genetic connection.

As I've grown older I've outgrown the complex but still whenever I'm asked would you ever have Plastic surgery and, if so, what would you like to change? My first choice is always 'My ears!'

What would you change?