A Perfect Day

I think everyone at some point in their long or short life ponders, even if only for a moment, how they will die. On Friday I thought my time had come. Obviously, seeing as I'm writing this, I thought wrong.

I guess it makes for a pretty funny story though, so I will share it with you and let you all have a laugh at my near-death experience. I set out for my daily walk-jog on what I can only describe as a beautiful Queensland morning. If I had died that day, at the very least, it would have been the perfect day to do it. I made it all the way to the sports fields that I amble around. Most mornings I'm kept company by some arrogant Magpies, some yellow billed birds I don't know the name of and a few Ducks. We all pretty much keep to ourselves. They do their bird thing, I trot. Friday was no different except today we had some extra company - some kids doing athletics training on the track next to mine. My witnesses. This was the setting for the scene of my near demise.

On my third lap I approached two Ducks who were ducking around and I thought they would move away as I approached. Now this isn't something I'll admit too often but, wait for it, I was wrong. It happened out of nowhere. I should have seen it coming. The bigger Duck didn't move. He turned. Looked me in the eye. I was looking down at the time. He put his head down, strained his neck as far as it could go without popping off and aimed his beak at me. He quacked something rude in Duck language to me. I didn't have time to explain I didn't speak Duck before he charged. Forget ambling, I sprinted with that little... I mean, big Duck charging behind me. I must have got 10 metres, feeling chuffed I'd outrun the monster duck, when I turned.

The Duck was 9 1/2 metres behind me.

True story. Remember I said I had witnesses. I'm sure you are all pleased that I'm alive and well.